Crocs and Gators

A Reflection on Racial Diversity in our Churches

With your blood you [Jesus] purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. Revelation 5:9

There’s only one place in the world where alligators and crocodiles co-exist, and that’s in the Everglades. The park’s fresh waters, in which gators dwell, mingle with Florida Bay’s salt water, which crocs need, providing the perfect environment for both of these reptiles.

My husband Joe and I saw plenty of alligators when we visited the Everglades—not surprising, since there are over a million of them in Florida alone—and we were fortunate to spot a crocodile in the Flamingo area (they’re an endangered species, with only an estimated 500 in existence in the U.S.). We were able to tell the difference between them, even from a safe distance (highly recommended), thanks to a tutorial in a park visitor center. We learned crocodiles are olive-colored, with pointier snouts, and their lower teeth are visible when their mouths are shut (the preferred way to observe them, in my opinion). 

You might say Joe and I live in a croc and gator world. We look quite different from the majority of residents around us—we’re Caucasian, and most of our neighbors are African-American. Our church is similarly mixed. Living and worshiping in integrated settings has been one of the richest experiences of our lives.  

I also realize it’s not the norm, especially when it comes to church. It was Episcopal Bishop James A. Pike who first said, “The 11 o’clock hour on Sunday is the most segregated hour in American life” (quoted in the May 16, 1960 issue of US News & World Report), a phrase echoed later that decade by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Mark Chaves, professor of sociology, religion, and divinity at Duke University, mentions that same axiom in his conclusions from the National Congregations Study: 

Congregations have become more ethnically and racially diverse even since 1998, [when] 20 percent of attendees were in congregations that were completely white and non-Hispanic; in 2006-07, 14 percent were.

Let me be clear about what this means. We do not see significant increases since 1998 in the proportion of predominantly Latino or Asian or African American congregations in the United States. Nor do we see any significant increase in what we might call deeply diverse congregations…What we do see is a significant increase in the presence of some minorities in predominantly white congregations. Fewer congregations, in other words, are 100 percent white and non-Hispanic.

I do not want to overstate the significance of this trend. It definitely is too soon to discard the old saw that 11 a.m. Sunday is the most segregated hour of the week. The vast majority of American congregations remain overwhelmingly white or black or Hispanic or Asian or whatever...Somewhat like black-white intermarriage, which is increasing even though it remains rare, increasing minority presence in predominantly white congregations represents some progress, however small, in a society in which ethnicity and, especially, race, still divide us.

Race still divides us in America, even with our election of a black president? You bet. Joe and I have seen it first hand, and perhaps you have too. But is it really an important issue within the church?

I believe it is. If you want to know why, I recommend three books: Divided by Faith: Evangelical Religion and the Problem of Race in America by Michael O. Emerson and Christian Smith; United by Faith: The Multiracial Congregation As an Answer to the Problem of Race, by Curtiss Paul DeYoung, Michael O. Emerson, George Yancey, and Karen Chai Kim; and One Body, One Spirit: Principles of Successful Multiracial Churches by George Yancey. 

Here’s a thought: Wouldn’t it be a powerful testimony to the Gospel to be able to say that another place crocs and gators gather is in church at 11 o’clock Sunday morning? 

As we honor Martin Luther King, Jr., today, and our first African American President is sworn in for his second term, what are your thoughts? Are we making progress toward integration through our churches…throughout our nation?

Penny Musco is a freelance writer with a terrific family—husband, daughter, mom, two brothers, and an assortment of in-laws, nieces and nephews. Her first passion is living for God as His child, redeemed from my “empty way of life…with the precious blood of Christ” (1 Peter 1:18, 19). A second is being with her family. Creating stories, whether fiction or non-fiction, is a third. And then there’s travel, especially to places where she can get up close and personal with the natural world. Trekking through the national parks is the best way she's found to combine all four. 

Penny blogs at Life Lessons From the National Parks. She can also be found at http://www.pennymusco.com and  http://www.steal-away.com

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.

 photo credit: BjørnS via photopincc

How to Become a Wise Woman Who Raises Wiser Daughters

“I wanted to share with my daughter how to set boundaries in dating; I just didn’t know how.” 

“I’ve been talking to my girl about what to look for in a guy. Thank you so much for backing me up!”

“I’ve known that a boyfriend isn’t the answer to the desires of my daughter’s heart, now I know what to say!”

These were some of my favorite comments this past weekend as I spoke at a mother/daughter retreat. This is my passion; to come alongside moms and empower women to become wise and in turn raise wiser daughters. 

When I was nineteen years old, some wise women came alongside me, teaching me that no guy, whether he is a dad, boyfriend, even an amazing husband one day, can fill the love gap in my heart. As I became a young woman, a wife, and eventually a mother, I began to realize the enormous need of women of all ages to have their hearts filled with this truth. 

I wanted to share what I had learned about love.

About 10 years ago, I began by inviting a small group of girls from my neighborhood over for pizza and brownies. Then I shared my story with them about how I fell for Jesus. One of the girls stayed afterwards to help me pick up. She asked if I would mentor her. I said, Yes!” Then she invited a friend, who invited a friend, who invited a friend…until we ended up regularly with six or seven girls.   

I began writing Bible study lessons, which I would email to the group. Then we met every Wednesday after school to go over the lesson and answers to their questions. The idea that Jesus was wild about them…well, let’s just say their comments included, “This is weird!” But as time went on, I began to see their understanding of Jesus’ love change. That wasn’t the only thing that changed, so did the way they thought about themselves. As their thinking changed, so did their actions. As I saw their self-worth and confidence rise, I just knew this was not just for this small group of girls, it was a message for every girl.

This was the small beginning of His Revolutionary Love and the conferences I now speak at all over America. 

It didn’t take long for me to realize one problem with my first book: the girls were reading His Revolutionary Love way too fast. Reading a whole book in a day is a lot like drinking from a fire hydrant! So I wrote Devotions for a Revolutionary Year: 365 Days of Jesus' Radical Love for You . This way, a girl can soak in a bit of God’s truth about her every single day of the year. 

With one grown son and two high school daughters, I often feel like I’m not equipped for this raising children thing. Just when I think I have covered one issue, another one that I haven’t even thought of pops up!

Do you ever feel you’re not equipped as a mom?

Then you’ll want to join the community of moms who gather at my website who are purposing to raise wiser daughters.

I certainly don’t think that I have it all together, but we’re trying, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to figure this thing out together. Maybe this is just what you need? A place where you can get tips on how you can be a wise woman raising a wiser daughter too! Join us at www.LynnCowell.com.

Let me leave you with three of my favorite tips for getting your girl to talk to you:

Turn off your phone when she talks.

If it rings, dings, or bings, no matter what – leave it.

Look her in the eye.

Nobody looks anybody in the eye nowadays. When you do it says one thing, “I really care.” 

Care about what she cares about. 

Even if you have heard about the woes of life at the lunch table every day since school started, listen intently again. 

Today, Lynn is giving away a signed copy of her newest book Devotions for a Revolutionary Year: 365 Days of Jesus' Radical Love for You. To enter, just leave a comment about an area you need help in as a mom. If life is super busy, just say, “I’m in!”

Lynn Cowell is an author and speaker with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She has been married for over 25 years and has a grown son and two daughters in high school. She has written two books His Revolutionary Loveand Devotions for a Revolutionary Year. Her favorite things include the mountains, well-worn sweatshirts, and anything that combines chocolate and peanut butter. 

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The Skin You Live In Book Review and Giveaway

My husband and I were among the first on line to get a copy of The Skin You Live In: Building Friendships Across Cultural Lines because we have the privilege of being members of Dr. David Ireland’s 6000-member mega church in NJ. Having been a member of several multicultural congregations over the last 15 years, it seemed like an important book for me to read. I know from almost a decade of attending Pastor Ireland's church that he truly desires racial reconciliation and longs to see diversity—not only in the pews as he ministers on Sunday morning, but in the Body of Christ as a whole.

Are you a Christ Follower but find that you do not want to sit next to a person of another race?

Do you cringe at the thought of your son or daughter bringing home a person of another race or culture…especially if the relationship may be romantic?

Then this book is for you.

On the other hand, maybe you think, "I've got this one covered, I am not prejudice."

This book is still for you.

 Each of us should ask ourselves, “Do I feel uncomfortable with others who are different than me?” And if so, “Why?”

This book helps you to do just that.

 The book intentionally asks hard questions, such as:

* Am I cross-racially attractive?

* Do I unconsciously reject people of other cultures?

* How do I develop strong interracial relationships?

* What skills are needed to have a safe interracial conversation on race?

I found this book to be an easy read despite its sensitive topic.

It reads like a well-written dissertation with plenty of examples of race/cultural conflict and resolution. Most of the steps shared in this book are basic Biblical relational principles that we, as Christians, should be walking out in our life; act neighborly, share common interests, be warm and inviting, offer mutual respect, and respond with kindness. The real-life stories included persuade the reader that racial reconciliation is important as well as necessary. The practical steps, while fairly simple, are helpful as well. A couple of these are: offer hospitality, go on social outings, and practice honesty in relationship.

Dr. Ireland points out that reconciliation starts with stepping out of your comfort zone.

He explains we can really only do this through grace. You can't talk about race reconciliation without talking about its most important element – forgiveness. In Ths Skin You Love In, Dr. Ireland does a wonderful job of talking about why forgiveness is necessary, as well as breaking down what it is and what it is not. A general prayer of forgiveness is included in the book to get the reader started in the process of letting go of past hurts that may prevent furthering relationships.

The book ends with Dr. Ireland sharng his story about the hate and discrimination he experienced as a result of his race.

Then he accepted Christ and it healed him of the pain of victimization. "I emerged from my dorm room as a new believer in Jesus and as a man healed of prejudice and confusion over how I would live and connect with others in our pluralistic and multicultural society."  His firsthand experience encourages the reader that race reconciliation is possible.

I would’ve liked a little more insight into the actual process of forgiveness and how it is walked out in everyday life. I believe unless forgiveness takes place, it can be extremely difficult to put into practice the suggestions provided, whether it’s opening up your home or having vulnerable conversations. From experience, I know for healing to take place it’s important to allow the Lord to search our hearts and expose specific places where we've have been hurt or walls have been built. So I highly recommend downloading the study guide here. It provides a prayer that addresses a particular offense or offender. I have learned over the years that forgiveness is an ongoing process that often requires repeated prayer. Over time, the layers of unforgiveness are peeled back and healing begins. To go deeper into the matter, I wish the book included the steps victims can take to repent of judgment and vows that they may have made due to their experiences.

Even though Dr. Ireland shares his personal story, I wanted to hear more about the nitty -gritty of his experience. I felt as though the book was missing a more in-depth account of his journey through victimization to healing. Was it really as easy as Dr. Ireland states? Did it take one prayer or did he have to forgive multiple times? Those details could help me and others through our journey.

This book will touch and transform each one who reads it differently, based on their personal experience.

Even though I thought, "I've got this one covered…", as I read, I allowed the Holy Spirit access to "ping" my heart in the areas where subtle discrimination was buried. I repented of stereotypes and judgments and have had transforming conversations with my husband and friends.

There is no doubt that in a quest to unite people to people and people to God, Dr. David Ireland has poured his heart into this book.

The Skin You Love In is an essential read for anyone looking to improve relationships with others, whether of the same race or not.

For more information on Dr. David Ireland and the other books he has written, visit http://www.davidireland.org .

Today we are giving away a signed copy of the book. Click here and you will be redirected to the right place.

Community 101

I was born in the Bronx but grew up in Queens, NY, where I didn't know many of my neighbors. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to meet them or be in relationship with them, but the norm on my block was not to engage. As I entered the workforce and rode the A train, the people I did pass by on a daily basis might give a hesitant nod letting me know that was as far as they were willing to go, socially…Community seemed to be a four-letter word!

Once I came to be in relationship with Jesus, married, and moved to New Jersey, my husband and I joined a church that emphasized uniting people to God and people to people . They promoted Life Groups, which are small groups that met twice a month in the homes of volunteer leaders for worship, prayer, fellowship, and Bible discussion. For the first time, we realized that God wanted us to be part of community. Even though this had become our desire, I was a little hesitant.

The Bible says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7) Yet I had reservations…

What was community supposed to look like?

Who were we going to meet?

Would we fit in? 

I realized that I was struggling with fear of rejection. This had deep roots. I grew up knowing my father hadn’t wanted more children when my mother was pregnant with me. And I was raised feeling like in order to be accepted and valued by my dad, I had to perform (clean, work at an early age, etc). My childhood, together with several other experiences, led me to build up attitudes and behaviors to avoid rejection…

BUT, God didn’t give me a spirit of fear (and I’m a New Yorker who doesn’t like to be pushed around), so I needed to muster up some courage! 

I chose to believe and trust God with my fear, so we took the first step of obedience by signing up to attend a small group. During that first year, we learned how to knit our lives together with others by sharing our life experiences, a meal, and prayer. After a while, community started to feel natural and I started to look forward to spending time with these precious people while growing in my relationship with God.

Fast forward eight years, even though we are no longer part of that congregation, we are still in relationship with several of the people we met in that small group, and I am so thankful for that.

Community rarely happens on its own. Relationship MUST be intentional. It may take facing your fears, getting over your past, and/or taking risks, but take the first step by getting involved through a local church, prayer group, book club, or Bible study today. We were made for community.

Won’t you join me in experiencing community and new relationships in this season of your life? You won’t regret it!

Diana Jones is a compassionate wife, mother, grandmother and friend. She is passionate about sharing God's love and all that He has done throughout her life. She is also looking for opportunities to grow spiritually through reading, prayer, singing and being in fellowship with others. She is thankful for the opportunity share her stories here at Circles of Faith.

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