Blessed or Stressed?

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or so the song says, the happiest season of all. Norman Rockwell images dance in our heads, or across the TV anyway. And a ball in the pit of our stomach starts to grow like a snowball careening down a mountain.

The birth of our Savior occurred in the humblest surroundings, but you’d never know it by the way our society honors the event. Fantastical Christmas decorations adorn the stores for a few weeks already, and it’s not Thanksgiving yet. The pressure mounts to buy gifts, decorate homes, entertain, send cards, bake and cook, on and on it goes.

Stress comes both from “outside in” and well as “inside out.” Family issues, work demands, depression, distractions, and overall busy-ness create anxiety that leaves us feeling stressed rather than blessed. We can control some of the “outside in” stressors, but not all. There are things that are simply out of our control. But we can control ALL of the “inside out” stress. We alone can determine our RE-actions to the demands of our day.

There are countless articles, books, posts to help us “survive the holidays.” But why just  “survive” when we can thrive and enjoy the glory of the greatest gift ever given. It boils down to the choices we make. Big choices, and little moment-by-moment choices.

But how? Here’s my Top Ten list of stress-busting choices:

 1.      Get into the Word. Read the Christmas story as if you never heard it before. Look for character qualities in the people you read about. Seek promises that are nestled in the familiar words. Look for something new. I found Luke 1:45 that way, and it grew my faith. Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished! said Elizabeth to Mary, a beautiful verse nestled between Elizabeth’s baby leaping and Mary’s song.

 2.      Replace anxious thoughts with thanksgiving. Worry is meditation about the wrong things. A friend once told me, “A grateful heart is rarely discontent.” Phil. 4:6-9 teaches us how to hold our thoughts captive. When we replace anxiety with thanksgiving, the peace of God (v.7) and the God of peace (v. 9) will be bookends surrounding our thought life.

 3.      Give yourself permission to change the definition of “perfect.” Your Christmas table will look just as lovely with pretty paper plates as with china. Gifts inside dollar store gift bags are just as appreciated as those that are hand-wrapped. When time doesn’t allow for home-made, store bought goodies are appreciated.

 4.      Seek alternatives. Our family has observed the Advent Conspiracy model of gift-giving. AC has 4 themes. Worship Fully. Spend Less. Give More. Love All. Our gift giving is more about relationship-building and helping others than about adding more items to our overstuffed closets. We “shop” for gifts in catalogs by World Vision (or IJM).

 5.      Stop – Look – Listen. Take a breather. Pretend for a moment you’re in the peaceful eye of a hurricane. The activity swirls around you, but you can sense the calming presence of God enveloping you. Catch the words of those God-honoring Christmas carols wafting through the store’s Muzak, and offer up a “popcorn prayer” of thanksgiving. “God and sinner reconciled.” “Come and behold Him.” “All is calm, all is bright.”

 6.      Resist the attraction to distraction. I confess to having the attention span of a gnat. I’m like a tumbleweed, drifting from room to room, activity to activity. To focus, I need to create a plan and carry a to-do list on a pad or in my phone. Accomplishing the major tasks provides me freedom to enjoy some unexpected delights.

 7.      Lighten up. Some of you are more task-oriented, it comes so naturally that you need to loosen up sometimes or you become like a gear wound too tight. Being so focused on tasks, it’s easy to miss the sweet joys that are all around. Like Martha who Jesus said was “distracted” by her many tasks, you need to release the need to “do” and embrace the opportunity to just “be,” to sit in His presence.

 8.      Set priorities. In addition to God’s Word, I live by 2 quotes. “There are enough hours in the day to do what God wants you to do. And no more.” ~AW Tozer  AND  “Good is the enemy of best.” ~Oswald Chambers

If I’m too busy, the question that begs to be answered is, “What am I doing that God doesn’t want me to do?” Many of these things are good things, but they aren’t the best things for me, at least for right now. Applying these two quotes enable me to prioritize and just say “no” without guilt. Michael Hyatt, shared a principle of how to schedule time to put First Things First.

 9.      Make the choice to forgive. If you’re alive and breathing, chances are at some point in your life, you’ve been hurt. Holding onto resentment and bitterness is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die. Making the choice to forgive frees you from that poison. The offender may not deserve to be forgiven, but doing it anyway is not for them. It’s for you. At this time of year, there’s a greater chance of encountering the offenders, whether in family gatherings or office parties or other activities. Forgiving cuts the tether that holds you to that person who hurt you. And most importantly, forgiving is an opportunity to develop Christ-likeness as one of His final statements was asking the Father to forgive those who hurt Him.

10.  Memorize the Word. This list begins and ends with the Word of God. It’s our sustenance, our food, our lifeline. And when we aren’t in arm’s length of our Bible, God can bring relevant Scriptures to mind like withdrawing a deposit we made at the bank. When tempted to get angry, upset, depressed, frustrated, go to the Word.  Write appropriate verses out on index cards and keep them by your kitchen sink, in the car, in your purse, etc.  Try to commit them to memory. 

1 Cor. 10:13 “You will not be tempted beyond what you are able to bear, but with the temptation, God will provide a way of escape.”

 James 1:2-4  “Consider it joy when you suffer trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” Phillips: “Welcome your trials as friends”

 Philippians 4:13     “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

 And, though not Scripture, a worthy saying:

 Serenity Prayer:      God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

                              To change the things I can,

                              And the wisdom to know the difference. 

All in all, throughout the season, make the choice to follow my dear friend’s advice:

“Keep the main thing, the main thing.”

Susan Panzica is a Jewish Jersey girl who loves Jesus, her family, the ocean, and mangos. Her passion is to bring an eternal perspective to earthly matters through writing, speaking, teaching, and coffee dates. A quasi-emptynester who works with her chiropractor husband, she thoroughly enjoys when her college age children are home, with or without all their friends. Susan is a speaker, women and children’s Bible teacher, and writer of the devotional blog Eternity Café. You can also check out Susan at www.susanpanzica.com

photo credit: murilocardoso via photopincc

Changing Perspective

I love throwing parties. I love Mexican food. Give me a reason to throw a Mexican-themed party and I am elated. I have a handful of go-to serving dishes, tablecloths, and decorations just waiting for the next social gathering. Recently, my husband and I were throwing a party with a Spanish flair for our daughter’s birthday and I wanted to serve chips and salsa, one of our family’s favorite munchies. I looked everywhere for our large blue, red, and orange chip and dip bowl but couldn't seem to locate it. I could not believe I had the perfect piece to present the snacks, but could not find it anywhere. The party went off without a hitch even though the presentation wasn’t exactly what I had in my mind.

It is so frustrating when you can’t find what you are looking for.

Our basement is a catch-all for the things that have no place in the rooms above ground. It's the space that’s served as a playroom for the big toys, laundry, gift wrap station, storage, etc. At one time, it also housed a Pilates machine; a late-night purchase from the HSN Shopping Network. For months it went untouched except of course for the kids playing on it, and we always shooed them off.  Filled with promises of lean muscles in half the time, I decided I was finally going to give it a try. I turned on the little TV, popped in the DVD that came with the machine, and laid down ready to transform my body. As I lay there and looked up, my eyes were drawn to the top shelf of the wire racks that ran along the wall…and I saw it! It was the infamous chips and salsa dish that went MIA months before.

In changing my perspective, what seemed lost was found.

I was no longer looking at eye level. I was seeing through a worm’s eye. Perspective is an important element in art. In photography, for example, it adds to the story and perfects the shot. By changing my perspective I saw more. My limits were removed.

You can take a picture of the same subject, engage in the same activity, look in the same places, yet have a different outcome when you change perspective.

A shifted perspective reveals that there is more than meets the eye at first. One of the things that will radically change your perspective is a heart of gratitude. 

We talk a lot about thankfulness during the month of November, but what if we talked about it all year round?

I certainly could stand a little more gratitude thrown my way in my home. I am tired of making meals that are met with complaints or cleaning the house only for it to be littered with stuff soon thereafter. Yet, I realize, if I want the climate in my home to change, thankfulness has to start with me and be intentionally modeled to my kids. The thankfulness I practice now is often reactionary. It is in response to what I have, nice things done for me, and my comfort. That's the stuff of greeting cards. The gratitude tends to be fleeting…it doesn't contain power to change our perspective or produce joy.

 In the book One Thousand Gifts, A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, Ann Voskamp says:

"The practice of giving thanks...eucharisteo...this is the way we practice the presence of God, stay present to His presence, and it is always a practice of the eyes. We don't have to change what we see. Only the way we see."

What if I didn’t wait for the perfect scenarios to give thanks?

I am now on the hunt for that which I have not noticed before. I am looking beyond the obvious and being proactive in giving thanks. This Thanksgiving, my family will not be wrapping up a month of thankfulness but will be kicking off a new journey of partaking in willed eucharisteo in hopes of transforming our perspective. My husband and I will be leading our kids each day in writing down those things that we are grateful for and keeping that list in a place that can be see on a daily basis and by others who enter our home.

How do you participate in giving thanks in your home?

 photo credit: lovesonic via photopincc

Kimberly is an enthusiastic and dedicated founding member of the Circles of Faith team. She is known for her creativity, strong faith, and commitment to living life with purpose and passion. Kimberly is a writer and community builder whose desire is for hearts to be healed, minds to be renewed and women to be connected in fellowship just as God intended.

You can follow Kimberly in her journey to discovering the Sweet Spot of God’s success for her everyday life on her blog at Living in the Sweet Spot. or on twitter @kimberlyamici.Click here for her full bio.

Book Review - I Blame Eve By Susanna Foth Aughtmon

From the onset of the book, the transparency and realness of author Susanna Foth Aughtmon is clear.  Her authenticity translated well, causing this reader to relax.  Her personal accounts dispel any and all judgmental tones, replacing them instead with a sense of "I'm there, too."  The reader is welcomed in, affirmed, validated, and loved through.

The Talking Snake

Inside perfection, evil roamed.  The evil one took form, purposing "to steal and kill and destroy" (John 10:10, NIV) Eve (and Adam), thus putting an end to the pureness of God's creation. The author develops this idea beautifully, giving our mind's eye a deeper look into how Satan lured Eve with GREAT intention.

Eve's luring is our luring.  Satan's tactic, the one that brought down Eden, remains in his arsenal. He's intentional, yet subtle.  As the author writes:

"It begins with the voice of doubt and chaos, the voice that invites us to wonder if we don't deserve more than we've been given.  It begins with the thought that no one can tell us what to do.  It begins with a hiss and a mirthless laugh as we wander far away from the heart of the One who breathed life into us.  It begins with the snake." (Aughtmon, 2012, pg 29)

It is in the luring we can learn a valuable lesson.  Let's face it, as a child of the KING, we'll be tempted.  Our soul is secure, but how we live our life for Him, the choices we make, the life we choose, can sadly still be in play.  Eve had a choice: run or stay.  I love how the author puts it:

"The problem was that Eve didn't turn on her heel and walk away.  Eve paused a moment and gave his words credence.  She weighed them against her own logic and what she recalled God saying to her.  She did what so many of us have done on way too many occasions.  Eve listened to the enemy of her soul." (Aughtmon, 2012, pg 33)

Like many of us, Eve took matters into her own hands.  Instead of dropping and running to her Father, she began buying into what the snake had to say.  Now, I truly don't believe Eve realized the fallout from just listening to the snake.  I also don't believe she imagined the consequences, the generational consequences, from her one action.  I do believe her pause changed everything.  She paused to listen instead of running to the Father.  As the author writes,

"It is important to invite God into the snaky conversations that take place in our minds and the niggling doubts that dig into our souls, because this is where the battle begins." (Aughtmon, 2012, pg 35)

Throughout the book, the author addresses "fallout" from the fall.

Chapter 6:  I Want to Hide from God

Chapter 12:  I Am a Perfectionist

Chapter 14:  I Have Control Issues...Big Ones

Chapter 17:  I Am a Little Self-Centered

But then, she beautifully writes the closing chapters that give us hope:

Chapter 21:  I Need a New Idea of What Perfect Looks Like

Chapter 22:  I Am Not in Control

Chapter 23:  I Need a Paradigm Shift

Chapter 24:  I Am Ready for a New Out-of-Control Me

I thoroughly enjoyed the book, giving it a 5/5 stars.

Stefanie Brown began writing after an encounter with the Lord during the summer of 2010.  It was in that moment she knew writing was her ministry, her calling, her element.  Her blog, UpLIFTing Words www.upliftingwordsonline.com was birthed out of the encounter.  You can find her on Twitter: stefanieybrown; Facebook: Stefanie Young Brown; or contact her via email: stefaniebrown.skylift@gmail.com.