I love to tell about how God made us a family of four through two adoption processes after a hard season of infertility – so much so I wrote a book about it. “ Peace in the Process: How Adoption Built My Faith & My Family, ” available on Amazon.
Those adoption processes taught me much about believing God who is faithful to hear the desires of our hearts. I learned to rest in what God has for me – right here, right now. Still, at times, I struggle with wanting a plan that stretches far out into the future.
The following in an excerpt from the end of my book. It’s a message I know God still wants me to embrace.
When I was a kid, I used to love rearranging my bedroom furniture. Somehow I would manage to move the full-sized canopy bed, dresser, and bookshelf/drawer combo around the dark brown carpet all on my own. I’d avoid blocking the three windows that overlooked our backyard and the neighbor’s yard that diagonally separated my yard from my friend’s.
Even then, I liked order. For someone who has long been reluctant to embrace change, I have no idea why rearranging my bedroom furniture was appealing. Perhaps controlling the change was comfortable for my perfectionist ways.
I could fall asleep soundly with my bed in a different place, but anticipating a change in life I don’t have control over could keep me up at night.
Yet when we follow Jesus, we have to rearrange our life. <<Click to Tweet
I heard that in a sermon in church one Sunday in February 2014 and I was taken back to pushing and pulling my furniture across the carpet.
I remember how I’ve dug in my heels so many times. I’ve stalled changes in life because I was afraid of what the new season would bring. I’ve resisted change because I wasn’t in control of what would happen next. I’ve said never to living where I live, accepting a job I didn’t think I wanted, quitting said job to be a stay-at-home mom, and enrolling my kids in a private school that turned out to be a perfect fit for us.
Never say never, I know.
Because Jesus may call me to lay down something or pick up something new or invite someone in or go against what I’ve always known or take steps into the unknown. God doesn’t leave us the same. He makes us new and continues making us new. He doesn’t leave us in the wilderness but changes us as we journey to the Promised Land.
Since I let go of pursuing a third adoption, I’ve paused by that room I thought we’d make a nursery. It’s been sitting there. Empty. Bare. It’s right across from my bedroom, next to our bathroom, just off the dining room, so I would see it many times a day.
God laid on my heart the desire to give the room purpose again, so I converted it into a guest room in February 2014. I have no idea if it will forever be a guest room, but this rearranging was necessary for my soul as I follow Jesus. Moving around furniture this time wasn’t as easy as when I was a kid, but I’m glad I did it.
In the process of life, God rearranges our desires and our decisions. He fills our hearts with convictions we never anticipated being important. He perfects us through real life that often looks nothing like we imagined. Sometimes it’s hard, but we’re always better for it.
I don’t want to be scared to let go. Rather, I want peace that takes me back to resting peacefully in that childhood canopy bed of mine wherever it was in my bedroom. I want to rest in what Jesus has for me, even when it means rearranging my thoughts, desires, dreams, and expectations. These sorts of changes bring peace because the One who leads me doesn’t change. God is faithful in all things – including hearing the desires of our hearts – because we are his children, adopted into a true forever family.
Kristin believes in seeking God as the author of every story. You’ll quickly learn her favorite story to tell is how God created her family through adoption after a hard season of infertility. God continues to surprise her – in the best kind of way – with all the ways her life is nothing like she expected. She lives in Murray, Ky., with her husband, Greg, and two kids – Cate and Ben. She never leaves home without her iPhone, which reminds her where she’s supposed to be going, holds many notes documenting her ideas, and helps her document life.