5 Surefire Ways To Drive Your Husband Crazy

Here are some tried-and-true methods to really annoy your husband: <<Click to Tweet

1. Be Discontent with Everything.

It’s simple. Take inventory of every single thing in your life that you are just not happy with. Memorize your list and then recite whenever you feel your life is less than perfect. Here are some fine examples you may want to include:

  • You dislike your current job.
  • You feel the house is too small.
  • It’s time for a newer car.
  • This year you would like to go somewhere more exotic (and more expensive) for vacation.
  • Your friends aren’t there for you enough.
  • You wished your husband talked more about his feelings...

Be sure to go over your discontentment list with your husband over and over and over again...

2. Compare Yourself to Everyone.

A great way to annoy your husband is to spend your time with him comparing yourself to everyone else around you. Incessantly ask your husband if he thinks you look better or worse than your friends do at your current age. Ask him if he thinks his mother is a better cook than you. Verbally name every person you believe is a better wife, mother, co-worker, and over all human than you. Make your husband take notes and then quiz him later.

3. Over-Schedule Every Second of Your Life.

A stressed wife is the best wife. Be sure to over-commit and over-extend yourself at every possible opportunity. Volunteer for all the school functions, church fundraisers, and community projects. Host at least three dinner parties a week. Enroll your kids in every extracurricular activity known to man. The goal is to completely fill every crevice of your life with something you “have to do.” The less time you have for him, the better.

4. Take Him for Granted.

Don’t include him in major decisions. Don’t tell him about the problems your kid is having in school. Don’t acknowledge his sacrifice and hard work. Don’t say thank you for anything. Just do a lot of complaining and fault finding...

Why does he always leave his empty dirtied cereal bowl on the counter every single morning? How hard can it be to put it in the dishwasher?

5. Refuse to be the One who Changes First.

Yeah, you may have a couple of personality flaws and maybe you are bit of psycho before your first cup of coffee in the morning, but seriously? Why should you have to change first? He’s the one with the problems. Put your foot down and get super stubborn. Don’t let your heart be melted by love. Stick to your guns and demand that he becomes Mr. Perfect or you are going to remain Mrs. Psycho until he gets it right.

I have seriously annoyed my husband using all the methods above. I am so good at it, I don’t even realize I am doing it. It’s bad. The best way to break these annoying habits to tackle # 5 first. Decide to be the one who CHOOSES to change first. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you one thing you can do today to bring joy to your husband (and not seriously annoy him). You will be surprised - God will show you what you can do and He will give you the strength to do it.

Do you have any clever ways you annoy your husband? <<Click to Tweet

Noelle is married to her best friend, Troy, and 'mama' to two of the most hilarious human beings to exist: Silas and Olive Pearl. She and her family reside in Belfast, Northern Ireland, as missionaries. When she is not wrangling her children or beating her husband in a game of Scrabble, you would probably find her doing laundry. Noelle blogs at Coffee with Noelle.

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photo credit: superherb via photopin cc

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